Raising our children and watching them brave the world with the life lessons we’ve taught them is an exciting and fulfilling journey. However, adulthood comes with phases that may be heartbreaking and equally rewarding for any parent. Seeing your child walk down the aisle brings elements of contentment, sadness, and happiness as they stitch their own future with hopes you’ve done enough in guiding them to become who they are today.
However, parenthood doesn’t stop there. At some point, your daughter will need your support to address issues that may come along.
Get to know the extended family.
The last thing you want your daughter to stress about is her parents, in-laws, and future spouse not getting along on her special day. So, take time to build a positive relationship with them by bonding and getting to know them better. And because this can be tricky, you need to make sure you approach this phase with an open heart and an open mind.
Respecting each other’s beliefs is the first step to creating and maintaining friendly terms with your daughter’s future in-laws. Consider knowing each other’s cultural backgrounds, including one’s roots, traditions, ethnicity, and ideology, to help you understand one another. Additionally, this will prevent you from injecting plans in the entourage that may offend or upset them in any way.
While you may have known your daughter’s partner throughout their relationship, building rapport with your in-laws requires a different approach. If you aren’t sure where to start, you may ask your child about them or arrange a family dinner to get to know them better. Ask related questions and find common ground where you can share your thoughts and passion with.
For example, if you share the same interest in the arts, you may take on a few out-of-town trips to visit museums or watch theatrical shows that you can both relate to. This will eventually open doors for conversations to bridge any gap that may hinder you from celebrating your loved one’s union. You may also talk about each other’s family traditions and learn how you can incorporate them for meetings in the future.
Having a solid familial tie and treating each other with respect leads to better communication and stronger relationship despite each other’s differences. This, in turn, fosters better mental and physical health that boosts one’s self-esteem and strengthens marital relationships, further reducing misunderstandings and stresses.
Know your limits.
Wedding planning is an exciting and stressful process. Apart from crucial details that require undivided attention from the couple, other factors may add in, including family dramas and other conflicts. While you may think that nobody knows your child better than you do, understand that growth allows people to change and improve, and she is not exempted from it.
Thus, you need to know when to stop meddling and let them do things their way. This includes trusting their choices when hiring quality wedding services such as flower arrangements, motifs and choosing professional wedding dress shops for their entourage. Of course, this also includes letting them decide where they want to live or when they want to have a child, especially with the increasing cost of living and raising a family.
Learn to read the room to avoid adding to the stress they are going through. While you may disagree with their choices, remember that it is not your wedding, to begin with, so keep your opinions to yourself unless they ask you to. Refrain from dictating them on what they should and shouldn’t do. Instead, remind yourself of your limitations and let them feel that you will always have their back no matter what.
Set aside your differences and conflict.
Each family has its own internal issues that need to be resolved. So, if you have any conflict with your spouse or other relatives, be mature enough and don’t involve your problems in the process. Moreover, you can try to resolve these issues before they escalate and get the best of you.
However, if things are really complicated, try to meet halfway and be professional until after the ceremony has ended. Do not show any negative actions or feelings, as this will only worsen the situation. Remember, family tensions will only fuel family drama, which will add stress to everyone involved in the ceremony.
Getting engaged and preparing for the big day is a crucial stage for anyone. Therefore, regardless of the commitments and decisions that your child wants to pursue, make sure you do not overshadow their efforts and give them the chance to enjoy their special day.